A quest, a war, a ring that would be grounds for calling any wedding off, a king without a kingdom, and a furry little "hero" named Frito, ready-or maybe just forced by the wizard Goodgulf-to undertake the one mission that can save Lower Middle Earth from enslavement by the evil Sorhed....Luscious Elf-maidens, a roller-skating dragon, ugly plants that can soul kiss the unwary to death-these are just some of the ingredients in the wildest, wackiest, most irreverent excursion into fantasy realms that anyone has ever dared to undertake. For everyone who has delighted in J.R.R. Tolkien's fantasy masterwork-or anyone who's just looking for a good laugh-Bored of the Rings is the "all-in-one-volume" comic extravaganza that will convince lovers and haters of fantasy that they've finally experienced it all, and that they'll never need to read another fantasy parody again. A Statement from the Authors About This Lampoon Edition: This paperback edition, and no other, has been published solely for the purpose of making a few fast bucks. Those who approve of courtesy to a certain author will not touch this gobbler with a ten-foot battle lance.
BEST NOVEL OF THE YEAR, BRITISH FANTASY SOCIETY • Discover the magical beginning of Piers Anthony’s enthralling Xanth series Xanth was the enchanted land where magic ruled—where every citizen had a special spell only he could cast. It was a land of centaurs and dragons and basilisks. For Bink of North Village, however, Xanth was no fairy tale. He alone had no magic. And unless he got some—and got some fast!—he would be exiled. Forever. But the Good Magician Humfrey was convinced that Bink did indeed have magic. In fact, both Beauregard the genie and the magic wall chart insisted that Bink had magic. Magic as powerful as any possessed by the King or by Good Magician Humfrey—or even by the Evil Magician Trent. Be that as it may, no one could fathom the nature of Bink’s very special magic. Bink was in despair. This was even worse than having no magic at all . . . and he would still be exiled! Thus begins Piers Anthony’s enthralling Xanth series. . . .
The magic of Xanth was useless in Mundania—until Dor tried honesty! Dor was having troubles growing up to be the next Magician-King of the magic Land of Xanth. He wanted no part of running the Kingdom. But now the Good King Trent was leaving on a trade mission to non-magical Mundania, home of such weird beasts as horses and bears, so Dor had to take over as King for a week. A week passes. No Trent. Then three weeks. King Trent still hasn't returned. Surely, something terrible had happened; he was apparently held captive in some foul dungeon, unable to escape. Dor was left with the burden of ruling—and with Irene, who was entirely too willing to be his Queen! His only hope was to enter Mundania and free King Trent. But how could it be done without the powers of magic? Nevertheless, he started forth bravely—together with Irene, a golem, a centaur, and a young ogre—heading for the far south of Xanth. The entrance to Mundania, of course, lay to the north.
When a Nymph rides a Night Mare, Ogre beware! Smash knew all about ogres. After all, despite his having a human mother, Smash was an ogre himself. Ogres were not only huge and horribly ugly, as Smash was; they were also so stupid they could hardly speak, and they spent most of their time fighting, destroying, and eating young girls. So what was he doing here with seven assorted females looking to him to guide them and save them? Even in Xanth, where magic made anything possible, why should Tandy the Nymph trust him and seem fond of him? And how could all that high-flown conversation be coming out of his mouth? But that, it seemed, was what he got for going to Good Magician Humfrey for an Answer—before he even knew what the Question was!
